Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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