I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
