I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
