They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
