So drunk its hurt
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
