no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
