I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
