I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
