my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm having to shit out rocks
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