i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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