Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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