everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize