i barfeds in our rink
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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