The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
