Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
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You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
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I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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