I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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