i jhust puked up my retainher.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
