hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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