I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
