Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
