Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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