I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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