well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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