we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
