I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
