If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
