I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
it's great music for shaving your balls
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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