Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
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Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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