things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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