I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
