My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
