You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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