Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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