So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
