If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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