I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
