I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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