@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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