Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
