i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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