very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
