Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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