Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
where are my pants?
in the oven.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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