wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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