the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
