as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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