i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
