So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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