You were right. It hurts to walk today.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
