fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
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I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
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I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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