yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
