I want to walk on stilts...naked
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
