I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
