We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize