But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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