My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
