i would punch a child for taco bell
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
