You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I pour the whiskey from now on
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
