Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize