Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Randomize
