its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
either way he was missing a nipple.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
