sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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