Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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