don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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